• Ayanna J.

Still Over It...


Still Over It, Summer Walker's sophomore album officially released on November 5th, 2021. The hour long 20-track project serves as a cohesive audiobook, as proven by the song titles. It features many notable guest appearances, from Cardi B on "Bitter", JT on “Ex For A Reason,” SZA on “No Love,” Ari Lennox on “Unloyal,” Lil Durk on “Toxic,” Pharrell and the Neptunes on “Dat Right There,” Omarion on “Screwin” and Ciara on “Ciara’s Prayer.” Summer gives us all the feels of a flawed relationship. It’s giving romantic drama tea! With all of its ups, downs, and in-betweens.


For me, the album released just in time for my seasonal depression to be in full effect. Let me just say this, Summer I am STILLLLLL over it too, sis! Sliding down the wall crying and throwing up!



 

“Take this opportunity to learn from my mistakes. You don’t have to guess if something is love. Love is shown through actions. Stop making excuses for people who don’t show up for you. Don’t ignore the red flags. And don’t think you have to stay somewhere ’cause you can’t find better—you can and you will,” Walker told Apple Music. “Don’t settle for less—you don’t deserve it and neither does your family.”


I mean, let’s face it... how many of us haven’t been there? Dealing with someone who we know is no good for us, but we continuously tell ourselves that shit will change because the love is there, at least the love we think. And when we finally have the strength to walk away from that experience, it’s eyeopening. Now, of course leaving someone we thought was the “one” is terrifying, heartbreaking and even exhausting. Nobody ever really talks about the early parts of the healing. It’s more often than none described as a linear process, and we all know healing is anything but linear. You don’t cut someone toxic out of your life and heal the next day, and if you do, you strong and need to give me some tips fr.


What about that awkward period of wondering if you made the wrong decision? That period where you begin communicating again. It starts with the minimal small talk... and then boom, back into the same cycle. One more go around, if you will. But we ultimately know when the flame has burned out. And we walk away. We walk away with the tools to do better the next time, whenever we begin a new experience.

 

‘No Love’ ft SZA is one of my personal favorites on this album, aside from the fact that I love them both as artists and I’ve been dying for them to collaborate for the longest. It reminded me of my own past situationship. I finally realized that it wasn’t going anywhere, and that shit broke me I won’t even lie. I was dealing with someone who made me question my worth when the entire time it was him, playing manipulative games on me because he knew he had a hold on me. Whenever he called, I answered. Whenever he wanted to see me, I was there. But when he didn’t want to be present anymore, he made sure to let it be known, and thus ghosted me. As someone who is a firm believer in communication, you can only begin to imagineee how crazy that was driving me. Siri, play Insane by Summer Walker and bring me a glass of wine asap!


I kept telling myself that if we were to ever try again, things would be different, on my own terms. So of course when he spun the block, I folded like a damn pretzel. I thought I had it all figured out! “I would’ve played it just how you played it.” I tried to become this version of myself that I knew I wasn’t. I wasn’t unemotional and cold. I had feelings. I tried to give 10% of me, the same way he did. But I figured, that’s not me and I don’t need this. I would really much rather be by myself than to stress myself out over someone who probably wouldn’t notice at all. “Come to find out you wasn’t even worth my time...”


The funniest thing to me though, is when I finally started falling back and began moving on his timing, he started giving more effort. I learned overtime that this was his method of ‘breadcrumbing’ me. “Breadcrumbing" is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort. In the simplest of words, it's leading someone on. Just another way of leaving me something to be hopeful for and hold on to, thinking things were different. Constant Bullsh*t.

 

Another favorite for me was ‘You Don’t Know Me.’ This song triggers me. All I could think about was my last relationship, and just how frustrating it really was. It had dawned on me that you can be with someone and they have no idea who you are, no matter how long you’ve been together. They never took the time to learn you, the way you’ve studied them.


From little things like knowing my favorite color and what foods I dislike, to picking up on my facial expressions and knowing my moods. He just didn’t know. I was suffering and settling for less than the bare minimum, and was being gaslit into believing that I was doing too much or always looking for an argument. So I shut down.


All I was asking for was time and attention and I couldn’t even get that. Some reciprocity! ‘Throw it Away,’ ‘Reciprocate’ and ‘You Don’t Know Me’ are in the perfect order of my story, too.


That relationship was draining. As difficult as it was for me to walk away, I was able to take those steps for myself and end it. It was definitely no walk in the park though. I was depressed in the relationship and just as depressed out of it. I was spiraling. I thought I made a mistake by leaving because I was crippled with the idea that he was the best I could ever get. I was wishing he would apologize and I could forget about everything and be back with him. I was praying it was a bad dream that I would wake up from. I thought he loved me. All of me. But love is never enough. Love doesn't have you crying at 2am. Love doesn't have you going through phones, ready to faint with what you've just read. Love doesn't have you taking Ubers after work during rush hour in an attempt to save your relationship. Love doesn't have you lowering your standards… I could go on and on, but I'll leave this here.

 

Some food for thought...

At what point do you become over it? When do you realize that enough is enough? Is there a sudden epiphany that tells you “girl it’s time!” or do you just wait until your final breaking point? I don’t think anyone truly has the answer to that except you. You have to know your non-negotiables and stand firm on them. Recognize the red flag(s) and call it out! Don’t settle! All the things I wish I would’ve done earlier on. When someone shows you who they are the first time, you better believe it.


There is nothing wrong with being alone and focusing on yourself, building yourself up and becoming the woman of your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with moving on right away. I just hope that you remain true to yourself with or without a partner. Never lose sight of you.

 

Ultimately, I love the arrangement of this album. Summer goes from publicly defending London in the intro, to then say she wants nothing more than some casual sex, to then getting in her big bag and bossing up on London, and ends off with a well spoken prayer by Ciara that not only asks for acceptance, healing, and stability, but is understanding that it takes time, and that though we are flawed, we are still worthy. Chefs kiss! This album was well thought out from promotion to lyricism. Will definitely be heavy in my rotation! The one question that remains though is… London, did you screw this b*tch forreal?!



Written by: Ms. Ayanna J

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